It Starts With Me!
Hey friend! Mind if we do a check-in?
How are you feeling? Can I be honest with you about how I was feeling at the top of this month?
Tired.
Truth is I needed to rest.
But the truth also is I am a recovering perfectionist.
And with perfection being the enemy of rest, you can probably see my dilemma, lol.
I recognize perfectionism is not emotionally or mentally healthy. I recognize seeking perfection is not even realistic. But sometimes, old habits and mindsets die hard, don't they?
Needing support, I had to use Hey Auntie! for myself. My community loved on me and encouraged me with wonderful words of support, and I noticed one phrase rang the loudest: It Starts with Me!.
The words “It Starts with Me” holds a special place in my heart because it is the title of my 2016 documentary. Seven years ago, for a class project, I began capturing my conversations with my mom and seasoned women in my life (my aunties). They helped guide me through a difficult season of wrestling with social and cultural, and even self-imposed expectations, anxiety, fear of failure, hustle culture, etc. Sound familiar? What started as a class project launched me down a new path and to the genesis of Hey Auntie! today.
In re-watching my documentary, I am just as moved by these ladies' sound wisdom and advice now as I was then:
Slow down and rest
Create and enforce healthy boundaries (with others and even with myself)
Actively invest in spending time with family and friends
I now realize their advice is not one and done. Instead, they were passing down priceless gems for making decisions and choices to cultivate a healthier (dare I say counter-cultural) lifestyle and rhythm for working, living, and frankly being to produce a better quality of life for years to come.
Difficult? Sure. Possible? ABSOLUTELY! And how do I know it's possible? Because it starts with me!
So, I am sharing this note with you today because we can get off track now and then. But I am, while showing myself grace, actively choosing and working towards reprioritizing #1, #2, and #3, so you can help hold me accountable.
I also encourage you to join me. So please respond to this email and let me know what you choose to work on #1, #2, #3 (or all 3).
Also, to support you (like my aunties' words continue to support me), we invite you to opt-in to a pilot to receive bi-weekly encouraging voicemail messages from aunties. If interested, sign up here!
As always, thank you for your encouragement and support. I truly appreciate you walking alongside me on this journey.
P.S. Want to laugh? Cultivating moments of joy and laughter throughout my day is one of my new routines. So check out these hilarious Relax, Relate, Release (Part 1) and Relate, Relate, Release (Part 2) scenes in one of my favorite shows A Different World with Whitley Gilbert and her therapist played by the illustrious Jasmine Guy and Debbie Allen.